Usually I conclude my Foreigners of Greystones posts with the person’s philosophy of life. It sums up nicely how I portray them  in my texts and reflects on their achievements and emigration story. This time however it serves as the perfect introduction: “Life is short. Take the trip. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake.“ It already tells a lot about Esther and her attitude towards life.

Leap of Faith

Esther took a huge leap of faith when she and her two-year-old daughter followed her husband, David, from Germany to Ireland at the beginning of 2020. David had already been in Ireland for a couple of months after seizing a career opportunity, preparing the ground for his family’s arrival.

Nevertheless, when Esther arrived in Greystones that January, she had a hard time settling in. Starting from scratch to build a social network for herself and her daughter, Esther deeply missed her family and friends in Viersen, North Rhine-Westphalia. Little did she know that even tougher times lay ahead, with the pandemic lockdown coming into effect just a couple of months later.

Planning, Planning, Planning – German Virtues at their Best

Esther was well aware that moving to Greystones would be a major challenge. She had a lot to consider, even if the move was temporary, depending on David’s career prospects. Before her arrival, Esther actually contacted me through my blog in December 2019. She wanted to know what to expect as a future German expat in Greystones and what life is like as a stay-at-home mom in Ireland.

I admired Esther for putting so much effort into preparing for her move. Too often, people start an adventure abroad with naive expectations or no serious planning at all. Not Esther. Although I tried to answer her questions as thoroughly as possible, I knew I couldn’t spare her the initial uneasiness of starting out in a foreign country. However, I could relate deeply to her worries. After all, it was only eight years ago that I was in the exact same boat—albeit single and with no attachments.

No matter how much you plan or prepare in advance, a level of uncertainty always remains. It takes an immense amount of energy to leave familiarity behind and swap it for an unfamiliar environment and culture. Overcoming the language barrier can be challenging, even if you already speak the language well. Integrating into an established community as a mom with a toddler takes time and dedication. Esther knew all of this, and she did everything in her power to prepare for the unknown.

Finding Comfort in Familiarity

Part of Esther‘s meticulous planning involved moving to Greystones as a home base. While this meant a commute for David, it gave Esther the perfect surroundings to spend time with her daughter—strolling along the beach promenade or taking advantage of the many local Mum and Toddler activities.

Because she had reached out to me in advance, I felt like I already knew Esther when we met in person at a local playgroup for the first time. There was no awkward getting-to-know-each-other phase; it was just a warm encounter that confirmed Esther was the exact same kind, open-minded person I had come to know in our online chats.

Esther was grateful to connect with Anja and me as fellow Germans for advice and genuine conversation. It was during one of those heart-to-hearts that I learned how much Esther was struggling with being so far away from her familiar support network and their newly built home in Brüggen.

Off  to a Good Start

Unlike me, Esther didn’t choose to come to Ireland because she had fallen in love with the island. It was a practical decision to support David in his great career opportunity. By all means, Esther appreciated the chance to experience a foreign country. On the other hand, she made a big sacrifice, adjusting to a new lifestyle and putting her old life in Germany on hold.

But they were off to a good start: “Shortly after we arrived in Greystones, we introduced ourselves to the neighbors with homemade cookies,“ Esther tells me. “My daughter and I went to local activities such as gymnastics for kids, music classes, and playgroups. And I met up with the German moms I had contacted through social media beforehand. These indoor activities were a great opportunity to meet people, as the weather in February and March was cold, wet, and stormy.“

From One Hundred to Naught

With spring on the doorstep and a few friendships established, Esther and her daughter settled well into Greystones. They were looking forward to making the most of the beach and the gorgeous marina right outside their house in a modern, family-friendly residential area. While Esther still felt homesick at times, the increasingly bright days and milder temperatures clearly lifted her spirits.

But her optimism vanished when everything came to an abrupt halt. The pandemic hit Ireland, bringing with it a wave of harsh restrictions. This was the beginning of what Esther describes as “one of the toughest times in my life.”

Isolated, Lonely and Scared

Nothing could have prepared Esther for what followed over the coming months. All of her thorough planning and the anticipation of her temporary adventure in Ireland were shattered in an instant.

“We had found a preschool place for our daughter from the beginning of March 2020,“ Esther tells me. “And we had just finished our three-day settling-in period when the big shock came—Ireland went into full lockdown. We had no idea how long this was going to last, so we decided not to travel to Germany for the time being. We didn‘t want to risk catching the virus on our journey and bringing it home to our families. For twelve weeks, we pretty much isolated ourselves.“

“My husband was working a lot, so my daughter and I were basically on our own in a foreign country. We weren‘t allowed any visitors, and we couldn‘t go back to Germany either. It was particularly hard when my uncle died and my dad suffered a stroke,” Esther remembers, “and we were stuck in Ireland. I tried to keep our daughter entertained and distract her by going to the beach and doing different things, but it was very challenging. The feeling of not being able to get away, the loneliness, the solo responsibility for our daughter, and not knowing how things were going to pan out in the future—that pushed me to my absolute limits.“

A Cheerful Rhenish Spirit

Knowing Esther the way I do, it is hard to imagine her so down and depressed. This is especially true given that she comes from a region in Germany that is famous for Carnival, which was celebrated just before the extreme travel restrictions came into place in Ireland. “In the Lower Rhine region, people are very outgoing, chatty, and love to celebrate. People party, laugh a lot, and just enjoy life,” Esther tells me.

“Carnival is a massive celebration that officially kicks off on November 11th and ends on Ash Wednesday. When you live that close to Düsseldorf, an absolute carnival stronghold, you either jump right into the massive street party or you escape it altogether,” Esther continues.

Being stopped in her tracks so shortly after the most joyous time of the year back home was a double blow for Esther. Under normal circumstances Esther would have fit right in with the Irish. In fact, the neighbors made moving to Greystones much easier than she expected. “Our start in Ireland was actually quite easy. Our neighbours were very welcoming, friendly and helpful. Often people started talking to us on the beach and we really like the openness of the Irish. Everybody we have met so far has been chatty and interested in our story“, Esther says.

Lifestyle Journalist and Food Blogger

During the pandemic, however, Esther had to rely on her second passion—one she could easily tend to indoors and on her own. “I love baking, cooking, and trying out new recipes, as well as writing and food photography. My job and my blog are the ideal way to combine everything I am passionate about,“ Esther tells me.

This is something Esther and I have in common, but when I check out her food blog, I am slightly intimidated! While I enjoy experimenting with flavors in both baking and cooking, Esther takes it to another level with her creative decorations and flawless presentation. If I ever need a themed birthday cake for my kids, I will definitely call on her. I always enjoy reading her columns for inspiration and new recipes.

Picking Up Where She Left Off

When I speak to Esther a few months after our initial interview, things don‘t seem as dark anymore, despite the ongoing lockdown. “There was a turning point when our daughter finally started at a lovely, newly opened kindergarten in September 2020,“ Esther says. “The teachers really helped ease her into the new environment. They even learned a few words of German and made lanterns to celebrate the German St. Martin‘s Day in November, which we truly appreciated.“

With spring around the corner again—just like a year ago when Esther was first about to fully embrace her Irish adventure—she can finally pick up where she left off. “Through the kindergarten, I made more contacts whom I can at least meet outdoors,“ Esther says. “Our neighbors are still looking out for us, and the German moms support me whenever I have questions. We also met parents from other places like Sweden, Texas, and Thailand who were very welcoming and invited us to their weekly gatherings. I even took up a yoga class with Minaste Yoga, which started out on the beach and is now online every Thursday. I can honestly say I have established a positive routine and a good social network for myself.“

Even though Esther seems like her old cheerful self again, the negative memories remain raw. “Not being able to meet people certainly doesn’t help when you’re already feeling isolated and lonely,“ she reflects.

Scarred, But Not Broken

I want to come full circle by repeating Esther’s life motto: “Life is short. Take the trip. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake.“ It couldn’t be more apt for her personality and her emigration story. It proves that despite careful preparation and a positive mindset, life can still hit you hard. Yet, it takes a resilient spirit like Esther’s to come out the other end—scarred, but not broken.